Prank Calls
by Silvershine Moonlight
Summary: [Two-Shot] In which phones are available, Leo is bored, Buford is a checkers master, and they both find the joy of prank calling. Oh, the fun those two have."...Buford? Lock the doors." Rated T for fun. [1st Chap: The Demigods]


**Me: Hehehehe….NEW TWO-SHOT! PLEASE ENJOY! :)**

**Leo: You heard her!**

**Prank Calls**

Yes, it is I, LEO VALDEZ THE GREAT! And now, join me as I go prank call my oh-so-wonderful friends…MUHAHAHAHAHAH!

Ha ha…ha ha…GUESS WHAT ELSE!? I'M GOING TO CALL EVERYONE USING A SQUEAKY GIRL VOICE SO THEY WON'T KNOW IT'S ME! GENIUS!

_Victim #1: Percy Jackson_

"Hello, is this Perseus Jackson?"

"Er…yes?"

"Wonderful! I would like to inform you that you have won your VERY OWN SPORTS CAR!"

"Oh my- REALLY!? I KNEW IT! TAKE THAT ANNABETH! I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULD WIN A CAR!"

"Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"You're stupid! Can't believe you fell for this prank call! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What the- LEEEEEEEEEEEEEO! GET OVER HERE AND CUZ I'M GONNA-"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

"….Did he just hang up on me? Oh my gosh, he DID! LEEEEEEEEEEEEEO! YOU IDIOT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

_Victim #2: Jason Grace_

"Is this Jason Grace?"

"Um…yes."

"Good. I would just like to inform you that the amazing and awesome Leo Valdez is better than you."

"…..Nice try, Leo."

"Wha- why would you assume my name is LEO?!"

"Cuz no one except you thinks you're awesome and amazing."

"…YOU HAVE NO PROOF!"

"Go away."

"Fine. Just one question."

"Ugh…WHAT?!"

"…..Do you have doughnuts?"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

"Jason? Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaason? JAAAAAAAAAAAAAASON! I can't believe he hung up on me! That's my line!"

_Victim #3: Connor Stoll_

"Lo? This is Connor Stoll speaking."

"I don't CARE what your name is! I want a large combo pizza with anchovies, mushrooms, and-"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, listen up you fool, I'm not done ordering yet."

"Er….this isn't Pizza Hut."

"I KNOW that, you impeccable fool! I'm calling Domino's right now!"

"Uh…miss? We don't sell pizza."

"LIIIIIIIIIIES! Kids these days, always too lazy to take orders…."

"I can assure you ma'am, we do NOT sell piz-"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEP*

"…..That was one crazy woman."

_Victim #4: Travis Stoll_

"Hello? This is Travis talkin."

"YEEEEEEEEEEESH! I DON'T WANT YOUR NAME! I JUST WANT TO ORDER CHINESE TAKE OUT!"

"Wait a minute- aren't you that hag who Connor was yelling at a while ago?"

"….No?"

"AHA! I KNEW IT! I'M A DETECTIVE ALRIGHT! YEP! I'M AMAZI-"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEP*

"…Eh, stupid grandma."

_Victim #5: Clarisse La Rue_

"OMG! TIFFANY! YOU WON'T_ BELIEVE _WHAT HAPPENED AT THE MALL TODAY!"

"What the- WHO IS THIS! YOU'RE WASTIN MY TIME, PUNK!"

"So I went to this mall, and then I met this guy, and then I was like, Hi, and then he was like, Hey, and then I was like, What's your name, and he was like-"

"WHO ARE YOU?!"

"TIFFANY! You didn't let me finish! Anyway, he was like, Jordan, and then I was like-"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEP*

"Hello? Aw man! I was just getting to the good parts!"

_Victim #6: Nico Di Angelo_

"Who is this?"

"An nyung! (HI!)"

"….What?"

"No moo bo go ship a su! (I missed you so much!)"

"Who is this?"

"No wae yong u mal ha go iit ni? (Why are you speaking English?)"

"WHO ARE YOU!?"

"Al get su, yi da bwa! (Alright, see you later!)"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEP*

"…..Eh, Koreans."

_Victim # 7: Piper McLean_

"Hello, this is Piper."

"Like, O.M. GEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YOU'RE DAD IS TRISTAN MCLEAN, RIGHT!? KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Um…who are you?"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! LET'S BE BEST FRIENDS!"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEP*

"Aww man, I worked hard on that!"

_Vicim #8: Chrion_

"Hello?"

"*Says in deep voice* Greetings, Chiron."

"Er…may I ask who this is?"

"Why, it's me: Hercules!"

"…."

"It has been a while, hasn't it?"

"….*THUMP*"

"*Normal voice* Er, hello? Chiron? ….Maybe the shock was just too much for him."

_Victim #9: Annabeth Chase_

"Hello? This is Annabeth Chase speaking."

"*Says in deep evil voice* Mwhahahahaha…I know your secret."  
"….Who is this?"

"Heeheehehe…I am….YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!"

"…..Go away Leo."

"….Who says I was Leo?"

"Percy told me."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….I knew he would rat me out…tell him he ain't a man!"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEP*

"Lo? Annie? ARGH! THAT'S _MY _LINE!"

_Victim #10: Chris Rodriguez _

"Hello?"

"Congratulations good sir! You have won a free ticket to the Bahamas!"

"I know."

"Yes well- wait, what do you mean, 'You know'?"

"I was destined for it."

"….."

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEP*

"Heh, Valdez is way too easy to trick."

_Victim #11: Frank Zhang_

"Hello?"

"Greetings Chinese-Canadian Baby Man."

"Excuse me?"

"Why, don't you remember? It's me, Arion!"

"…."

"Oh, I know, it must be a big surprise for you. I've turned into a human!"

"….*THUMP*…."

"…Man, this is the second time someone fainted. Oh well."

_Victim #12: Hazel Levesque_

"Hello?"

"*Deep spooky voice* Mwahahahhaha…Hazel…I'm holding your horse Arion hostage…what will you do to get him back?"

"…Arion is right next to me eating some gold."

"…..I knew that."

"Nice job Leo…reeeeeeeeeeal nice."

"….Grrrrrrrrrrr."

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE P*

"…He needs help with pranking."

_Victim #13: Butch_

"Hello?"

"*VERY high pitched voice* YOU HIT MY PONY!"

"…What did you just say?"

"YOU HIT MY POOR PONY! YOU JERK!"

"I nev-"

"YOU HIT MY PONY! YOU HIT MY PRIZE WINNING PONY! YOU JERK!"

"Listen up old lady. I don't even KNOW who you are so-"

"SHUT UP! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND IMMA CALL MA LAWYER AND IMMA GRAB MA FLAMETHROWER AND BLOWTORCH YOUR UNDERPANTS OFF AND IMMA-"

"…Valdez…is that you?"

"…..No. Anyway, IMMA GO BLOW UP YOUR CHARIOT AND IMMA-"

"I know where you live and I'm gonna take _my _flamethrower and burn you down."

"Fyi, I am fire-bender. Hear me ROAR!"

"I'm comin over."

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEP*

"….Buford? Lock the doors."

_Victim #14: Drew! ;)_

"Hello? This is Drew the Amazingly Beautiful Girl speaking."

"*SUPER squeaky voice* Hello miss! I have come to tell you that you were voted most ugly demigod!"

"VAAAAAAAAAAAALDEZ!"

"Hmmmm…how'd ya know it was me?"

"Cuz no mortal knows about demigods."

"…Man, I should've listened to Piper when she told me you weren't as air-headed as you looked."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEP*

_Victim #15: Octavian_

"What is it?!"

"*Deep voice"…Mwahahahaha…I'm back, Octavian."

"Who are you?"

"Why don't you remember? It's me, the pillow pet panda you ripped up a while ago."

"…..IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Oh, and yet, here I am. Beware Octavian, for I am gathering an army of pillow pets for my revenge…BEWARE!"

"…..NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I MUST GO SACRIFICE MORE STUFFED ANIMALS TO SEE WHAT THE OUTCOME WILL BE!"

"…?"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEP*

_Victim #16: Reyna_

"Hello?"

"Give me back my dogs."

"…..Excuse me?"

"I said: GIMME BACK MY DOGS! THE GOLD AND SILVER ONES!"

"But, they're MINE."

"LIAR!"

"I AM NOT A LIAR!"

"ARE TOO!"

"ARE NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"ARE NOT!"

"…Then at least poke out the ruby eyes for me."

"I'm comin to get you Valdesz."

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEP*

"Ooops. This is bad."

_Victim #17: Jake Mason_

"Jake speaking."

"…..*Deep voice*….I know where you are, Jake."

"…..What?"

"Mwahahahahahaha…you can never hide from me."

"No….it can't be."

"Oh, but it is me, figure out who I am?"

"…OFFICER CHARLIE?! I TOLD YOU THAT THE ONLY REASON I STOLE YOUR DOUGHNUT WAS BECAUSE I WAS _STARVING!_"

"…?"

"….!"

"…."

"…Wait a minu- LEO?!"

"Ehehehe, bye!"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEP*  
-

_Victim # 18: Nyssa_

"Hello?"

"Hi Grandma Jam! It's me, Peanut Butter!"

"…EXCUSE ME?!"

"Wow, you sound a lot younger than the last time I called you. How's Grandpa George? How's th-"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

"…..Eh, I shouldn't be surprised.

_At Bunker 9…_

"BUFORD! DID YOU LOCK ALL POSSIBLE ENTRANCES!?"

"….*STEEEEEEEEEEEAM*"

"GOOD!"

"…"

"Now, we just wait for monsters and blood thirsty demigods."

"…"

"Meanwhile, let's play some checkers!"

"….:)"

_20 Checker games later…_

"YOU'RE _KIDDING _ME! THIS IS THE FRIGGIN 20TH TIME YOU WON!"

"…..*STEEEEEEEEEAM*…;}"

"What the- don't you DARE smirk at me, little table! I am the one who MADE you!"

"….;P…"

"Oh, so now you stick your tongue out at me? Pfffffft, you should be thankful that I'm even PLAYING checkers with you!"

"…*STEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM*…"

"Grrrrrrrrr….you meanie."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well, while we're waiting, let's play some X-Box! Just don't always try to viciously kill me on Halo."

"…;}"

"ARGH! STOP SMIRKING!You evil piece of rotting wood!"

"…D:…."

"Ooops…sorry."

"…:)…"

"…..TO THE PLASMA TV!"

"…:D…."

**-Fin-**

**Me: Hehehehe, that was fun to write.**

**Leo: I was EPIC!**

**Me: Tell me what you guys thought! :D**

**Leo: OH YEAH BABY! **

**Me: Btw, the next chap will be about the gods!**


End file.
